You're Not a Monster
by PsychoticRambling AOT SNK
Summary: Humanity has decimated all of other the Titans left, thanks to Eren Jaeger. However, he dwells on his horrific past and remembers his single vow... to kill every titan. What will he do with such conflicted thoughts and who will save him from his demise?
1. Chapter 1: Corrupt Thoughts

"Eren! Eren, open the door!" Mikasa screamed as she banged violently on the locked door.

"Eren! Please! Don't do this! Remember you said we'd see the world! Please, Eren, I'm begging you!" cried Armin. It was useless. Eren knew what he was and what he had to do. He made a promise... a vow. He had worked so hard... so long... and he was finally about to finish his task. Every titan was decimated, thanks to him. He was meant to go to an award ceremony, where he was to be promoted, but he just couldn't accept that. In the background, Eren could still hear his friends pleads. Even Jean begged for him to open the door.

"Dammit!" Eren cried. He grabbed the mirror that sat on the floor next to him. "I'm a monster... I'm a monster... a murderer. I'm sorry I failed you, Mother. I'm so sorry." Eren clenched his eyes, as tears streamed relentlessly down his cheeks. "Why!? Why me!? What did I do to deserve this!?" The sounds beyond the door ceased.

"Leave. Now." said a gruff voice from the hall. No, could it be? Eren's heart sank as he heard the faint clicking of distancing footsteps. Suddenly, a loud thud came from the door, followed by several more. One the last attempt, the door flew open. Eren didn't turn around, as he knew who already stood in the doorway. It was Corporal Levi. Levi slowly walked up to Eren, placing a hand upon his shoulder. His hand trembled as he tightened his grip.

"Co – Corpro – " Eren stuttered, but he was interrupted.

"Shut up!" Levi shouted, but his anger rapidly turned to grief. "Just... shut up." Levi fell to his knees, clasping Eren's shirt, with his head bowed. Eren, still frozen, was unable to muster the words he so desperately needed to say.

"You idiot..." Levi muttered. He began to let out uncontrollable sobs. "You goddamn idiot! How could you do this to yourself... to me?" Levi beat his fist upon Eren's shoulder. Eren had never seen him in such agony before, even when his squad had been killed. Levi's blood ran hot through his veins. "What were you thinking... Don't you understand the consequences?" Levi's body went limp as he wrapped his weak arms around Eren's body.

"Levi... you don't understand. I cause more bad than good." Eren said with an empty voice. His soul turned to ice in that moment. "I'm nothing but a monster, Levi."

"Stop that. Stop saying that. Even if you were a monster, I-" Levi cut his words short. Eren turned his head.

"Even if you were a monster, I wouldn't love you any less than I already do." Levi said. By this time, Levi had calmed himself, speaking his words in the form of truth rather than sorrow. "But you're not a monster. You're Eren. You're a soldier. You're a hero to humanity. Without you, we may not be here now. You're one of us, even as a titan-shifter." Levi's words were soft and meaningful. Eren's body trembled with emotion. He flung his fists to the ground. His rage echoed throughout the room and he beat the floor with bloodied knuckles.

"None of that is true! I've done nothing but get everyone around me killed! My mother, your squad, my friends... so many friends... There is nothing right with me! Stop saying these things! Stop making this harder than it needs to be! Let me _**die**_. I deserve death after all I've done!" Eren screamed as he stood. He grabbed his mirror and smashed it onto the ground. "Every time I look at my reflection, I see nothing, not even a soul! Look at me! I bet if I were to turn into a titan right now, I'd kill you because that's who – no – that's what I am! I am what humanity hates!" Eren grabbed Levi's shoulders. "I - I'm exactly what humanity hates..." His tone settled as he stared into Levi's eyes. "I'm nothing but a worthless monster." Eren stood, staring at the floor away from Levi, head bowed. Suddenly, a heavy forced shoved him hard onto the ground. Levi had him in an inescapable pin, with no way out. Eren looked at Levi, only to see angered eyes staring back at him. Levi lifted his fist and cracked it hard against Eren's jaw. He struck him time and time again, until his face dripped with warm blood.

"Tell me! Does that hurt!?" Levi screamed as he lay more blows to Eren's face. "Tell me! Tell me! Tell me!" Eren whimpered. Choking on his own blood.

"That's..." Levi smashed his bloody fist into Eren again. "...not..." and again "...an..." and again "answer!" Levi struck him a final blow, as the cracking of bone radiated through the room.

"Tell me! Does _**that**_ _**hurt**_?! Tell me now!" Levi screamed, grabbing Eren's face in his crimson stained hands. "Tell me or so help me God I will kill you myself! Tell me, dammit, _**tell me**_!"

"Y-yes! Stop please!" Eren cried, tears streaming down his face, carrying heavy trails of blood with them. Levi pulled a cloth out of his pocket and began wiping Eren's face. Tears ran down Levi's cheeks and dripped onto Eren.

"I'm sorry, Eren." Levi said quietly. "You just needed to understand."

"Understand... what?" Eren question through his gagging and coughing.

"That monsters don't cry." Levi whispered as he held Eren in his arms. "You're no monster. You are human, just like me." Levi swept the hair from Eren's head and lay his cheek upon it as he cradled him. "Don't make me do this again. I've lost so much over the years... I don't need to lose you too." Eren pulled Levi in closer, squeezing him tightly.

"I – I'm so sorry, Levi..." Eren cried into Levi's chest. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry..." Levi promptly hugged Eren's head.

"Sh. Don't apologize. I'm just glad I got here in time." Levi whispered. Levi knew Eren deserved to live, especially after everything he's done. He's sacrificed himself time and time again. Finally, everyone was safe. Levi watch at Eren quietly went to sleep. He picked Eren up and gently carried him home.

"_Monsters don't cry._" Levi thought to himself. "_Eren is no monster and I'm glad._"


	2. Chapter 2: Not All is Said and Done

_ "Mother! No! Stop! Please, stop! I need to save her! __**Mother!**__"  
>"Eren! We can't stay! There's too many of them!"<em>

_ "Eren, we have to go..."_

_ "**No!**"_

"No!" Eren screamed as he shot upwards. His breathe was heavy as his heart raced.  
>"Eren! Are you okay?" Mikasa asked, as she ran over to him.<p>

"Wha-" Eren sighed. He looked around the room, which was completely unfamiliar to him. "I – I'm fine... Where are we?" he questioned.  
>"We're in the infirmary...You were hurt pretty bad... What happened to you?" Mikasa asked, already knowing Levi was the assailant.<p>

"Levi saved my life." Eren said with a cold tone in his voice. "If he didn't show up, I'd be dead rather than here right now." Her eyes widened at his words. Tears dripped from her chin.

"I'm sorry." Mikasa said as she held Eren. He put his arm around her.

"Don't be. If anything, I should be sorry to you, and everyone else, for putting you all through that." Eren said, in a comforting tone. Suddenly, the door cracked open, revealing a shaking Armin.

"Hey, Armin." Eren said, giving a meek smile. Armin's face immediately lit up.

"Eren! You're okay! I just heard from Jean that you were here." Armin said as he ran up to Eren. "I'm so glad you're okay!" He jumped up and wrapped his arms around Eren, clinging onto his head.

"Thanks, Armin! Ow! Careful!" Eren yelled playfully as he laughed.

"Sounds like we're all having fun in here." said a deep voice. It was Levi. He walked slowly in, his eyes widening slightly as he saw the long term damage he had done to Eren.

"Hi, Corporal." Eren said solemnly. He couldn't bear to make eye contact with Levi after what had transpired the night before. Levi had noticed the moment he walked into the room.  
>"I guess I'll be leaving then. Make sure to get some more rest before you head out, Eren." Levi had said, with genuine care in his heart.<p>

"Levi, wait." Eren spoke up at the last moment. "I don't mind if you stay." Eren glanced at Mikasa and Armin, signaling them to leave. Mikasa gave a worried look before pulling Armin out the door. Levi turned towards Eren, expecting him to say something, but Eren stared emptily at his hands.

"Did you want to say something?" Levi questioned, intrigued by Eren's silence. Eren looked up at Levi, teary eyed.  
>"Thank you." Eren said with relief in his voice. "Thank you, so much. Thank you for saving me..." Eren gave a weak smile. He gestured Levi over and lightly held his hand. "I cannot repay you for what you've done... everything you've done for me." He pulled Levi in and hug him tightly around his neck.<p>

"What did you expect me to do?" Levi asked lightly. He stroked the back of Eren's head. Eren pulled away.

"I stopped expecting things a long time ago." Eren said solemnly. "It's okay though." Levi gazed at Eren, not quite sure how to respond. Eren lay his head back onto the pillow, closing his eyes.

"It's okay because I have you." Eren whispered.

"Corporal Levi! There's an emergency!" screamed a voice from the hall. Levi turned to the door, only to see Connie standing in the doorway, panting.

"What's going on?" Levi asked.

"Titans have been spotted outside Wall Maria! There... there has to be at least 30 of them. They came out of nowhere!" Connie shouted. Levi's eyes widened.

"What?!" Levi shouted, obvious agitation in his voice. Eren stood up next to Levi.

"Let's go." Eren said, walking towards the door, throwing his shirt on. Levi grabbed his collar.

"What the hell do you think you're doing. You're in no condition to fight. Don't be a moron." Levi hissed. Eren ripped away from Levi. "You get back here, now." Levi demanded. Eren stopped in his tracks and swiveled around.

"What do you expect me to do? Sit like a duck and watch my friends die? The titans were supposed to be _**gone!**_" Eren punched the wall. "I'm going." Levi gave him an angry stare.

"You are not. I'll have the nurses lock the door and make sure you can't leave." Levi pushed Eren towards the bed, before slamming the door and walking down the hall.

"_There's too many!_"

"_Jean, look out!_"

"_Damn! There's a variant... Watch out!_"

Soldiers poured from the top of Wall Maria, clinging onto titans. Levi swept from titan to titan, slicing their napes. Their heavy bodies fell to the ground and created dense clouds of steam. Levi had spotted three titans. They were off in the distance, about 200 meters away. Quickly, he rode his horse over and clung onto one of the titans' necks. Quickly, the titan turned around, pulling Levi with it. It swooped down on for legs and whipped his arms and legs around.  
>"<em>Shit.<em>" Levi thought. "_It's a variant_." Suddenly, the other two titans flung themselves over towards Levi, their heads and limbs thrashing around. Levi, still attached to the nape of the first variant, swung his blades full force. Levi detached and fell hard onto the ground, in which a loud crack came from his ankle.  
>"<em>Son of a bitch.<em>" Levi screamed in his head. His ankle throbbed with pain. Stuck in a flat field with a broken ankle, Levi used what was left of the gas in his 3DMG to push himself away from the variants.

"_No... no... I wasn't supposed to die like this. How could I..._" Levi's mind spun with the horrors of what may be soon to come. "_No._" His mind snapped out of what he thought were selfish thoughts. He knew he'd be better of putting up a fight than giving up. Giving up was not in his nature.

Levi's tank soon ran out of gas. He pulled out two new blades, facing the titans running his way.

"_Come get me, you ugly bastards._"

However, before Levi could attach to one of the variants, a sleek shadow swept by, slicing one of the titan's necks. As the titan body fell, the shadow jumped over to the next, their blades digging into the nape.

"You alright, Corporal?" a meek voice asked.

"E – Eren? What the hell are you doing here? Are you trying to get yourself killed? You were supposed to stay in the infirmary!" Levi shouted.

"Well. I figured I'd repay you. You did save me first after all." Eren said, walking towards Levi.

"Ugh. You could have gotten killed, you know. I can handle myself." Levi spat, his angry gaze softening the more he looked at Eren.

"Not with the ankle you can't. Let's get _you_ to the infirmary." Eren laughed as he wrapped Levi's arm around his shoulder.

"Tch. Not funny, brat." Levi sighed.

They walked back towards Wall Maria, as Eren carried Levi. Not a word was said, but Levi couldn't help to ponder on Eren's loyalty.

"_You're such a brat, but I guess you come in handy every once in a while._"


End file.
